Wish list..

I am so excited to see this issue of art journaling . Several friends are in it which makes it so special . Congrats to Linda and Tracy !
They are both talented and supportive of others .They have been so helpful in sharing with me as I learn . Pam Carriker is in this issue too. So it's on my wish list.
Also on my wish list is "The nook " ,the new ereader from Barnes and Nobel, I have the first amazon kindle , which I loved but I am selling it and I am buying myself "the nook".It seems to have some features that will work better for me . First it accepts paypal to buy gift cards so I can buy books easier and it also uses the Att wireless network which works better for my area . I plan to read more in the new year so this is something that I really want!
I'd also love an Exacompta Sketchbook and if you need a little inspiration to want one too I got you covered ,lol . I love how she used this sketchbook .
So if santa brings me any of these things , I would be very grateful .Umm and a little talent would be nice too!!
I wish all of my friends a very creative and Merry Xmas!
To my very special friend Renee who is battling breast cancer and having a very hard time right now,You are in my thoughts and prayers . I wish santa would bring her and her family some peace and comfort through the holidays . Sending you lots of love , stay strong!!

Links I am Loving...

I want to share with you some things I am loving right now. I love the internet . I love reading blogs and I have met some incredible people online. 1.
2. I love this blog
http://www.dayswithmyfather.com/ , a loving tribute to a father . So beautiful and touching!

3.I love this post http://inspiredmess.blogspot.com/2009/12/life-aint-all-cupcakes-glitter.html, so raw and important and full of hope.

4. More than words http://carrieleewendt.blogspot.com/ , She has incredible art and a wonderful blog and the reason I am loving number 5!

5.
I would love this book and I plan to buy it as a gift. I think it's beautiful.
6.Speaking of books ,I met this author on twitter , she is so personable and I just really like her and her books look great Valerie Storey
I am planning on buying "Better than perfect" and "unleashed".If you have a young adult this could be a great xmas present.
7.Very Pink is a wonderful knitting site. I really love her you tube videos for a beginner.
8.A handspun yarn shop on etsy http://www.etsy.com/shop/blondechicken, I also met this chick on Twitter and the colors of yarn are beautiful.
I hope you find something you love as well!

Beginning ...

“You can learn new things at any time in your life if you're willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you.”_ Barbara sher

I love this quote but I am struggling with being a beginner. I had read that when we first "begin " we initially feel wonder and excitement and then move into the fumbly clumsy part and that this is the time when most people quit. I am in that place . I want and need to be creative in some way . I don't know in what direction "ART " is leading me. Right now I am "Everywhere ". I am learning to knit , I am teaching myself crochet, I am taking workshops to learn to draw and paint . I am searching for myself and my niche . I have always surrounded myself with learning. I am like a child released in a toy store filled with all the things I love and want to see . I have a passion for learning . I just don't know where I am supposed to be headed . I am 40 years old and the questions that I am asking myself is "Where have I been all my life?" I really wish I would have spent more time at a younger age pursuing myself but I didn't . I am a 40 year old beginner. I also ask myself ,if I were to not sit in this beginning stage where will that leave me ? I have no choice but to learn to be a good beginner. I get frustrated . I want to draw and paint to express myself . I want to knit . I want to crochet . I also plan to someday sew and I am sure there will be many more things I may want to explore . I try to soothe myself with things like Grandma Moses. Did you know she didn't begin painting until she was 75 years old ? SO maybe it's never to late to begin .

Are you getting ready ?

We got our christmas tree up yesterday. My girls have been bugging us to put it up. So my oldest baked cookies and we all put the tree up. They so love christmas . I just don't seem to be as much in the spirit this year.I do love the lights and seeing all the collected ornaments once we get started.
We also got our first snow here on saturday. I love the first snowfall .I hope you all are getting ready for christmas as well . I will have a new post soon . I am working on so many things.
HUGS!!!

Sharing

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving . My girls were off school for 9 days and my youngest is going to try to return to school today as she has had a fever for the last few days.

I decided to share a little of what I have been up to . Last saturday we visited the castle in Berkley Springs Wv. as a possible location for my daughters July Wedding. It really is a beautiful place , rich in history and it was perfect for my daughters outside wedding . So we booked it. They were happy to have found a location . You can see more pictures here .

We spent Thanksgiving with some wonderful friends of ours from Delaware who have a vacation home near us . It was really cozy . They are both wonderful cooks . I really enjoyed their company and we chatted after dinner and "Jackie "( we share a name ) happily sat and crocheted as we talked . It brought back memories of me teaching myself to knit the year before . I had learned the basic stitches from a dvd about a year ago and I had found it so meditating. I have always found the idea of knitting a throw or blanket so appealing .

When I came home I decided to try and knit again and I am currently happily knitting some washcloths ,LOL

You got to start somewhere right? I hope to improve my knitting skills .I have tons of books on knitting and crochet and had been meaning to get to it . So I am happy Jackie provided the inspiration..

I am also taking different art workshops. I am taking a winter goddess class here with Monica. I haven't had time to watch the full class but I did a winter sketch .We are to practice making sketches for our painting . this is the first one I did. Keep in mind, that I have never drawn anything beyond stick figures and as a child I don't even remember playing with crayons . So this is hard for me to share .

I am also taking three classes with Pam Carriker , who I love. One of the classes I am involved in is called Pursuing portraits and I did a few sketches for that class as well.Pam , is a wonderful teacher .

I am really taking so many classes and really trying to find my niche or where I am supposed to be . I thought maybe I could be vulnerable enough to start to put myself out here a little . I love seeing other people share so I thought maybe I should too . Sometimes I am involved in so many things it's overwhelming for me but thats ME. I hope with practice that I will be able to eventually do something that I am proud of and happy with .

New Moon Madness

Yep , thats me behind that book above . I have caught the Twilight Madness. I read all the books in 4 days. Once I got started I couldn't put them down . So unless you are living under a rock , you know that tomorrow is the release of the second movie in the saga "New Moon . All over the country they are having special midnight showings tonight. I will be among the madness tonight . So what you say? Well I have not been to a movie since last year and I am a true introvert . Most of the time I am home playing with my art supplies or on the internet. So let me paint this picture for you .


I live in a little town in wv where it looks like this .Population less than 5,000.
Our nearest town with a theatre is a 30 minute drive (about 68 miles from DC) .New moon has been sold out there for most days. So we have about an hour drive to a little town called Moorefield Wv , population , 2,400 . biggest store in that little town is of course a Walmart and right behind it it is the theatre. So knowing they had some tickets left , my daughter and I make the drive to score tickets for the midnight showing. We arrive around 3 pm . Not a soul is stirring . empty parking lot:( so I walk to the door and try it , it's locked . I press my nose against the glass and knock on the window . I was thinking surely they must have office personnel working . My 18 year old is looking at me horrified "Mother,they are not going to open the door for you , you are not Oprah " . I chuckle and say ok lets go to walmart. So we do some shopping and know we cannot stay over in this little town till 6 o'clock . We are trying to think of options of how we can get our tickets. It's not looking so good . So we leave walmart . I insist that we check the theatre again. My 18 year old rolls her eyes and insists that it is going to be useless and I use all the motherly authority I can muster and say " lets just try , you never know . So she obliges me ,muttering under her breath. As we approach we do see one van in the parking lot and I can see a woman inside . So I say "I am going to go ask her and my teen says " Omg, you are so embarrasing" as I approach the theatre doors the lady stands back . I try the door it is locked . She opens the door for me . I say " can we get our preshow tickets ?" . She says" I am here for the same, but there is no one here " she had arrived to find the door cracked. So here we are the three of us inside an empty theatre. we wander about calling "Hello", to our own echoes . No one is there . Just the three of us locked inside.
It really is quite comical . So this being a small town ,the lady locked in with us ,calls a cousin of a cousin ,who works there and she is shocked that we were able to get into the theatre . she sends someone , a manager in her red pickup truck to take care of us and they look at us with mouths gaped open standing inside the locked up theatre:) . So she comes in and sells us our tickets !! So tonight I will drive windy roads with two teenagers who get carsick and me an introvert to see "New Moon ". I hate crowds but I will wait to be hoarded into the crowded little theatre and I will not arrive home till at least 3 am . Wish me luck!

November News...

(Picture by Monica Zuniga )

I cannot believe it is November already! I usually love fall but we have all been sick on and off here so I haven't really been enjoying it so far. I want to share with you what I have been doing though. I am over halfway in the third book of the Twilight series . I started the first one when I was sick this week and I haven't been able to put them down . The story is a nice escape from reality . I also am taking a keepsake journal workshop called "EVE to EVE" . It began Halloween eve and runs through to New years eve. It covers lots of things . Klair is a wonderful teacher. I love listening to her voice and the class is just soothing. I also took a Coptic book binding class with her and I loved it but I still need to sew my pages together. I also am seriously considering taking this class with Monica called Winter Goddess . I cannot say enough about Monica . She is so kind and so talented and I love her classes . It is also Art everyday month here . You can participate however you would like as long as you are doing something creative.Oh and if that wasn't enough how about NaNJouMo? A daily journaling prompt for the month . Day 1 is today and the prompt is "Freedom" . I have been wanting to journal so I will think about how I would like to use this .

What are you up to for this month ?

I am off to watch "The proposal " and just relax . It seems that's all I have been doing but I have been so drained since I have been sick . Hope you had a Happy Halloween .

A Public Hanging...

I just witnessed a public hanging . What ? Where? Isn't this what you are thinking ? Surely they don't exist in the year 2009 ? They do. First , let me give credit where credit is due . I owe the honor of these words and this hanging to Suzi Blu . Today she hung a " baby goddess" in a public forum with plenty of people to watch . Let me explain ...
I know there is alot of copyright infringement going on and that there is alot of frustrated artists. I have seen Illustrators have their artwork stolen and sold as digital images for stampers.I agree that credit should be given to the artist for their work . I love and support my fellow artist. I have paid for classes with Suzi Blu and I loved that she would say " You have a right to make art " , "You are safe", and lots of other loving phrases . A lady had posted a you tube video on art journaling and she had used images in it off of the Internet and some of the images belonged to Suzi Blu
She did not claim the artwork as her own .She stated in the video that she had gotten the images off of the internet . It was a video for teaching purposes , she was not receiving money .
So here is where the lady is led up to the gallows ... Suzi Blu posted the situation on her blog and in her post she called the lady" old" accusing her of having" no pride" and called her art "inauthentic shit art " . (do you see see the noose being placed around the lady's neck?) .Suzi claims that" she doesn't have time to send the lady a private email " and that "this is a situation that needs to be dealt with in public" , " A situation that affects us all ". This is the part where I agree. This affected me . Deeply to my core . I do not want to be the silent onlooker watching in the crowd , as the crowd cheers the public hanging of an innocent person . My "voice" may be "Tiny" in comparison to Suzi blu but it is a voice of compassion . I was taught by Suzi that "no art is original ,that we are not so unique that it is not something that hasn't been done before ". I do not believe that the intent of this woman was to steal or hurt anyone but her voice was not heard over the rioting crowd who visited the hanging through a link on suzi's blog and threw even more hurt onto the situation. I know what it feels like to be vulnerable and how we need to be supported in order to feel safe to share our art and I am thankful for the people who do share and put their selves out there. I personally do not feel comfortable putting my "Art " in the hands of a teacher who would march me to the gallow for making a mistake or march me in front of a crowd calling my art "Inauthentic art shit" and trying me publicly and watching as I am beaten by the crowd in the name of her "Authenticity" .
I followed that link on Suzi blu's blog . I was too late. The lady artist had closed her youtube account and removed her blog . The public hanging was complete . I watched an artist die.

A to Z = ME

Recently , I came across a blog called "Circling My head" . I am happy that I did . She has the most moving blog, She lives with Inflammatory breast cancer and shares the most raw things. She feels like a kindred spirit to me and I hope you will visit her and leave some love. She did this little A to Z , and I enjoyed reading about her so I thought I would follow her lead:)
A = Age 40 years old
B = Bed size (King) oh , I love my bed!
C = Chore you hate (Grocery shopping)
D = Dog (2 chiuahuah's )
E = Essential to start your day (Twitter)
F = Favourite colour (RED)
G = Gold (white please)
H = Height (5 '4)
I = I’ve come to learn (I love learning anything)
J = Judge (with mercy)
K = Kids (2 teenagers, both girls )
L = Living (I am grateful)
M = Mood (Down)
N = Nicknames (none)
O = Owl (Sharp )
P = Peeve (Liars)
Q = Quote (Souls do not show up in business suits,they sit cross legged wearing jeans ,Sipping a glass of wine)
R = Reckless (I have been )
S = Siblings (A brother and a sister)
T = Time you wake up (varies always)
U = Unhappy (is just a feeling)
V = Vegetable you ate last (Mushrooms)
W = Want (Jacquie to regain motion- Renee to have her wish)
X = Xenophobic (No , I love different cultures)
Y = Yearn (Always)
Z = Zealous (Overly sometimes)
Thanks Renee

Struggling with myself..

I am sorry I haven't posted in a little while but I have been struggling with myself. I like to stay positive so when I am not feeling that positive I sometimes just get quiet. Why am I struggling? I am not completely sure. As you know , I am always talking about and looking at art. I started as a scrapbooker and then a stamper making cards and quickly fell in love with mixed media art. I decided that I wanted to learn how to "make art" like what I saw . So I jumped in , head first, and signed up for lots of classes. Seriously , I had so many. I became overwhelmed because I had never even really tried to draw or knew that I loved it. So I decided that I needed to take some baby steps. I decided to concentrate on learning to draw before I added some of the other things. I have always had trouble doing one thing at a time . I have an " I want it all" attitude and I am extremely hard on myself . That's why you aren't seeing me post "art". I am trying to keep it to myself because I feel very vulnerable and I want it to be about "art for me" right now. I don't want to get caught up in posting and thinking to much about it when I am trying to learn.
I love learning from others and I love seeing all kinds of art and for those who are putting themselves out there I am so Happy you do . I admire you for it . I think I could deal more with others than myself when it comes to my "own inner critic" .
Recently I saw a blog where a lady set up her own learning schedule , just like she was in college , with whatever she wanted to learn about art.I need to do something like that , so I can have some structure. I want to learn so much . Art history, sketching , painting. I just want to soak it all up and its very hard for me . I am like a child learning . I struggle because I suck at being a beginner. However , I intend to follow this wherever it leads for me because I want to make art.
If you have any suggestions for me , I would love to hear.
My wish for myself is that I can make art without judging myself so harshly because who knows what potential is locked up inside me if only I would dare just stop judging.

Tackling the "Truth"

As you know , I am reading the "Joy Diet" along with Jamie ridler studios and this week it was about telling yourself the "truth". I thought , that has to be a breeze compared to "Nothing" , but that pesky martha insisted that if we weren't comfortable with " nothing " we should not move on but stay with "Nothing" . I did. I did find this week of nothing a little easier . My body did not rebel as much as last week and it wasn't quite as bad. I did at the end ask myself the truth questions as I felt more comfortable and I have always prided myself on my ability to get honest with myself but you can't tell yourself the truth if your not quiet enough to listen and hearing my own truths is not something that is easy for me. When I know the truth, I act, but sometimes I just simply don't know "my truth " . I am hoping with time that my "truths will come into the light for me to see so that I can tell myself the simple ,plain truth. I wish I had some insightful , eye opening truth to share with you ,but I don't .. truth is , I am a woman still trying to find her own truths and the peace and joy that comes with it. I wish for us all that we find that for ourselves.

Inspiration Wednesday..

I have found so much inspiration the last week that I want to share my"Inspirations " with you.
1. Jamie for the idea of Inspiration Wednesday.
2.Melissa Haslam, An Australian artist , her artwork is so amazing to me. She inspires me to want to learn to draw and she sent me the nicest email with suggestions for learning. I am in love with the faces she draws and the way she combines bontanicals. I hope someday to at least own a print. Visit her blog .
3. Fatima Ronquillo , an artist from San Fernando, Philippines, I first discovered her on twitter , she inspires me because she opens herself up so warmly. On her blog she shares works in progress, peeks into her studio and more. She is a "self taught" artist, which amazes me . I find inspiration in her work because if it's possible for her she opens up the possibility for you and I . One of the things I love about her was this statement "I paint because of the naive desire to see an idea transform into a pictorial poem. Ideas hail from dreams or visual flashes inspired by memory, artwork, music or literature - all the things I live and love. With a painter's language of color, tone and form, I express lyric poems of joy, love, wonderment and nostalgia". How beautiful is that? That is exactly why I want to draw. Read more about her here .
4. Mondo Beyondo a 5 week class that I am going to be taking about "Dreaming Big" because thats what life is all about right??

What do you find Inspirational right now?

The Art of "Nothing...

Who knew that doing "nothing " could be so hard! My mind didn't like doing nothing one bit . I sat in silence and my body hated being still. I used this little kneaded eraser( kinda like putty) to keep my hands busy while I sat. I pretended to be in the only seat in the room and I watched my thoughts come in and I acknowledged them as visitors. Oh , the endless chatter and nagging.Has it been 15 minutes yet? Did you hear that bird? Shouldnt you be tweeting and on and on .. So , I'm sorry I dont have any wonderful news to report because there is "nothing" . I plan to keep practicing because it seemed I kept hearing these words " BE STILL". So on to truth !!
here is a poem I found on being still.
Thou art? -- I am? -- Why argue? -- Being is.Keep still and be. Death will not still the mind.Nor argument, nor hopes of after-death.This world the battle-ground, yourself the foeYourself must master. Eager the mind to seek.Yet oft astray, causing its own distressThen crying for relief, as though some GodBarred from it jealously the Bliss it soughtBut would not face.

Till in the end,All battles fought, all earthly loves abjured,Dawn in the East, there is no other wayBut to be still. In stillness then to findThe giants all were windmills, all the strifeSelf-made, unreal; even he that stroveA fancied being, as when that good knightWoke from delirium and with a loud cryRendered his soul to God.

Mind, then, or soul?Break free from subtle words. Only be still,Lay down the mind, submit, and Being thenIs Bliss, Bliss Consciousness: and That you are.
-Arthur Osborne

What is bringing me joy in this moment...

As you know I am embarking on a "Joy Diet" . As part of the process , I am noting the little things that bring me joy. I thought today I would share a few of the things that bring me joy at this moment.
1. Twitter friends ( I am lucky to have some uplifting people on twitter, I really didn't intend to love it but I do!)
2.Suzi Blu's Les Petit Academy ( I love learning with her)
3.Hands and Heart (Monica Zuniga), Sept 25 Halloween Party ,I love Monica
4.Haute Doll ( the faces are amazing ,I am going to get some magazines to use as inspiration for my faces)
5.Treasure Hunt with Heather Plett ( Twitter Friend ) . Amazing idea !!
6. Pop tarts
7.My Keurig, I love it!!
8.India Arie , ready for love, My favorite part of the lyrics is :
"If you give me half a chance,I'll prove this to you, I will be patient, kind, faithful and true To a man who loves music ,A man who loves art,Respect's the spirit world,And thinks with his heart."
All of her music is so positive .
9.Pumpkin Spiced Latte ( shared by a twitterer)
10. Vintage poetry book I bought, here's one I marked:
Music I heard
Music I heard with you was more than music,
and bread I broke with you was more than bread,
Now that I am not with you, all is desolate,
All that was once beautiful is dead.

Your hands once touched this table and this silver,
And I have seen your fingers hold this glass,
These things do not remember you ,beloved
And yet your touch upon them will not pass.

For it was in my heart you moved among them,
And blessed them with your hands and with your eyes,
And in my heart they will remember always,-
They knew you once,O beautiful and wise.
-Conrad Aiken

Spill it !! with Carmen Torbus

Straight Talk with Carmen from Carmen Torbus on Vimeo.

A new workshop all about finding your style as an artist and spilling yourself onto canvas. Sound fun? Class begins October 1. You can even win the class! Check out the details here .

Beginning the "Joy diet" with "Nothing"...

I had this book on my bookshelf for a while now . I had forgotten I even had it until I saw that it was going to be a blog along at Jamie Riddler Studios . I tweeted that if I had the book I would join in . When I pulled the book off the bookshelf I saw where I had bookmarked into it a few chapters but I never finished it. I wondered why? so last night I opened it and started to read the first chapter and my first thoughts were oh no , I remember , this is the book that started with wanting me to do "Nothing". Right away I remembered the anxiety I felt with the idea of being still and doing nothing.As I read the chapter again I still felt the anxiety but the message is much clearer to me now. I actually chuckled along with Martha . I do not have a full time job . I have plenty of time to do "Nothing" but I am always surrounded with books, blogging, twittering , projects, and art. My mind is always racing like a rabid squirrel ( as Martha says). For some reason being still , really still , frightens me. So we will see how I make out this week. I am looking forward to following along with all of you on this journey . I am hoping to get some insight from some of you . I loved that Jamie suggests that we look for the little things that bring us joy , so that we start to notice it. I also love the idea of the little art cards. I am hoping to bring more joy into my life on this journey and maybe quiet myself enough to hear the real me. I am very happy to be sharing this with all of you. Finally a diet where gaining is the GOAL!

Treasures and Spell Bottles

Saturday I went with my husband to Berkley Springs Wv . Its a little town rich in history not far from where i live. We visited little shops and I brought home some things to use in my art . So I created a slideshow so you can see.

Also... Are you ready for some Halloween FUN!! Monica is having some super fun workshops and to top off all the fun and prizes and free classes she is featuring Cristina Zinnia ,who is doing some free stuff as well as having a paid workshop. Cristinia is doing a free spell bottle class .Now who wouldn't want to make a spell bottle ? FUN !!!! Also I say this in the sincerest way Monica and Cristina are really wonderful people.So kind and encouraging.So come have fun with us . It would be scary if you said NO!!

Remembering Debbie...

Today has been 4 years since my Aunt Debbie ( Debra Overbaugh Adams) passed away from breast cancer . I thought as a way of sharing her with you and as a way for me to memorialize her I would make a list of some things about her so you can share in her memory too.
1.She had auburn hair
2. When you got a letter from her it was 10 - 12 pages long( front and back)
3. She didn't have a loud laugh it was more a grin where her eyes twinkled.
4. She loved to talk and was very open
5.She was a dreamer
6.She lived in Germany for a little while
7. She was married 4 times.
8. She was the picture taker in our family
9. She had one brother ( my father ) who we lost at 41 ( suddenly of a heart attack )
10.When she found out she had terminal breast cancer , a tear slid down her cheek and she said" At least I don't have to worry about dying of heart disease"
11. She planned her own funeral
12. She is buried next to her brother
13. She believed she would be a survivor and beat odds many times ,she was given months to live and she battled for 5
14. She loved defying the odds
15, She wrote a letter to be read at her funeral
16. Her favorite color was blue
17. She hated getting rid of anything , she was a pack rat
18. She has 3 children
19.She was creative < she crocheted , painted and did ceramics, macrame , she had many interest 20.People liked her 21. we used to take walks at night in the snow 22. When I was younger , I stayed with her alot , we would sit up at night eating and talking. 23.When I was scared about her illness and I called her she always made me feel better . 24.She was still childlike , During chemo she ate lots of icecream, I bought her a musical santa and it played we wish you a merry xmas and I brought it to her hospital room and she stared at it in amazement.. 24. She loved animals 25. She bounced me hours on end when I was a baby, so I wouldn't cry. This is just a touch of who she was . I love her and miss her and she lives on in me. The above Blackhawk video " sailing on the ships of heaven " was chosen by her to be played at her funeral . She is not in it but I thought it would be nice to share it here.

Wanna have some halloween fun?

Hands and heart is opening registration September 24 with lots of prizes and FREE stuff!! Be sure and check it out:)

Focus and The Joy diet..

The other day when I was surfing the internet I read this by Melly Hocking and it came at a time when I was already thinking about what I was going to do to gain some focus.Right now I am involved in alot of online art classes and I haven't been giving them the focus they need because sometimes there is so much noise around me . I mean sometimes we are on information overload. As a person I am like that anyway. I am always several steps ahead of myself. I surround myself so much sometimes I can't concentrate.I at most times will have books beside me, my twitter open, checking myspace, reading blogs, blogging myself, downloading art classes, chatting on yahoo,texting on my cell.. ok , you get the point and I love it but I was thinking lately I have been spending more time collecting thoughts and dreams then the actual process of learning and living. As Suzi Blu told me " less jabbering more sketching" lol.. You gotta love her!! So, after reading Melly's post,I asked myself whats important to you in this moment and the answer was I am excited about the classes I am taking and I don't just wanna surround myself with wonderful supplies and classes and dreams .I wanna make art and see how I feel about it and what I can do and guess what? That takes practice and focus especially when it involves learning several things at once. So I will need to eliminate for now some of the things that aren't as important to me until I give myself a chance to grow with this new venture. I wanna see where it leads. I mean if I was sitting in a college class trying to learn ,i'm sure my professor wouldn't want me twittering,blogging, texting, and trying to learn. So I am going to give myself to this, in this moment.I am going to spend less time dreaming and more time living the dream .
No, i am not disappearing , just quieting the noise becoming more involved in the process of learning. I have decided to follow along on a book blogging journey starting Sept 18 ,We will be working our way through "The Joy Diet", discussing and blogging about the journey.If you wish to read along go here .Other than that ,I plan to "make art".Sometimes ,it is OK to step away from people or things in order to put your focus where it needs to be. So I am here. I will be checking email and my blog , but as Suzi says, I will be spending less time jabbering and more time sketching and maybe once I get some focus there i will have something great to share:)
I leave you with this quote , which describes where I am right now.

I want you to get excited about who you are, what you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now.
--Warren G. Bennis

Live the questions....

Sometimes messages come across my twitter like synchronized swimmers.Today the theme seems to be "beginnings" . I will be 40 next week and I am looking forward to it and have decided that it will mark a new beginning in my life. I plan to begin to take better care of myself and begin to nurture my inner self as well . I am not sure exactly what direction this will lead and with new beginnings comes disorder and anxiety for many of us . We as humans ,like answers and knowing . We like to have an order and like to know where our paths may lead. We search for answers to who we are , what we want, is this the right path for us,is it worth the risk . We pry in search of our inner selves always looking for the answers to our personal quests .So today I am reminded of this by poet Rainer Marie Rilke...
I beg you ... to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tounge.Do not now seek the answers,which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them.And the point is,to live everything.Live the questions now.Perhaps you will then gradually,without noticing it,live along some distant day into the answer.
I know its a difficult thing to do. When someone close gave me this little poem I don't think I was ready to even understand it and I wasnt very comfortable with that as an answer but I practice sometimes being still and just sitting with not knowing . I let the uncomfortableness of living the questions just Be and trust that as I am living them that one day the answer will appear when I am ready to live it , after all living the questions is part of the journey ,is it not?

Some things to share..

Every day when I am surfing the internet or twittering (oh yes, I twitter) I come across some amazing people. I am also taking some art classes online ,as I mentioned before ,and I have met some there as well. SO I want to share a few places to visit with you . Maybe you will find some inspiration as well.
The Chocolate Chip Waffle , not only is the name yummy but the blog is as well.
Pam T's Art Loft , Her art inspires me. ( I wanna draw like her when I grow up ) lol
Melly Hocking, She always leaves me thinking and inspires me to dig deeper (thank you)
Create something today (aka. Crafty Tassy) she inspires me to create , and she is the warmest person.She will be doing an art journal class soon and she has a passion for art and teaching that shows. Thank you Tassy!!
I don't have alot to show in the way of art right now because I am learning and practicing my grey scale. I do have lots of new supplies coming . Whoo hoo!!
ENJOY!

Embracing ART

Most people who know me, know that when I get involved with something I am an all or nothing woman.So as usual and true to my form , I have gotten myself into several art classes. I became interested in mixed media art and in particular the faces . I'm excited but seriously I need an intervention. I am so facinated that I can take a class from my home and learn with these wonderful artists but I can't take them all at once right ? right? . I am almost afraid to click for fear I may want another one,LOL. So , I am going to give my all to what I have signed up for .Here is where you can find me.. 1> HANDS AND HEART with Monica Zuniga ,She is a wonderful teacher and I love her voice and she is so kind. I signed up for the magical kit and I have four classes there.Right now I am working on the pencil drawing course, which I LOVE.
2. (This one I am blaming on a tweet) Suzi Blu's Les petit Academy . I am taking the Goddess and Poet class, it just started.What can I say it's Suzi Blu? So as you can see my hands are full .
3. Paulette Insall's , All about faces class (thank goodness it's not until Oct) , but I am excited for that one as well.

When I was younger I wanted to be a makeup artist, I loved looking at how I could transform faces but I got married young and didn't really think about that dream anymore but you know what ? I think in this way maybe I can reclaim a piece of that dream. Did I mention that when I was young I never had an interest in art? Not even coloring .Somehow though it has been a part of my life and is helping me learn about myself .I never even knew I liked art but I am embracing it now. I have never even tried to draw but when I first saw faces and mixed media art ,I knew I wanted to learn . So I hope to share my journey here and I hope to embrace other artists as well, all of us learning from each other . I want to give a special shout out to one of my fellow beginners , who is finding her way in art too. I found her post so beautiful and so raw and honest , and I think we can all see a piece of ourselves in her lovely post. I wish for all of us who want to be artistic that we can embrace those parts of ourselves and with lots of practice excel and share our uniqueness.Here's to us!!

I have had many lovers...

One day I came across this post .In it the writer compares her interests to new lovers. I have had many lovers. Once when i went in a music store and looked at a violin , I was infatuated, i bought it and in my 30's decided i wanted to play.I took lessons from a very young talented woman , who wanted me to play twinkle twinkle little star in front of an audience,,, GASP!! Did you know playing a violin is difficult? Once during a lesson she picked up her viola and I was more in love, I wanted to play both ..lol . So my teacher , whom i adored , moved away and with it my went my new found infatuation. Don't get me wrong ,I still look longingly at my violin but it sits unplayed in a corner.I am surrounded by books calling my name. I have dvds on Knitting and needles and yarn because I fell in love with the peacefulness of it.Oh did i mention I also have crochet dvd's because I fell in love with a pattern that needed both..lol.I have an art room all to myself because I fell in love with scrapbooking that then led to stamping . That lover has led me into lots of self exploring and still entices me.. I could go on and on and on. Would you like to meet my new lover? My new lover showed up unexpectedly , as I was surfing the internet, beautiful and seductive, called to me, igniting in me passion . It was this thing called Mixed media art .and this lover encompassed all the infatuations I have.Vintage items, Words,Color,Faces,stamping .. it was love at first sight! I longed to learn to draw and paint .This lover awakened in me hidden desires. So when I read this post . I knew, knew I needed to nurture these lovers .I am going to embrace them when I can. I am going to let them seduce me and see where it leads.If it doesn't work out , I will take what I learn and move on . Maybe just maybe I will find one that will be a lifetime passion . So here is two ways I am nuturing these passions.
I am taking this class, the painting faces one, with Paulette Insall in october and I found this Magical kit that includes 3 workshops with Monica Zuniga for an amazing price for this week only.Oh , and I am hoping to win this workshop . Boy it's sounds like this new lover has my head spinning !! here is a little preview of Monica Zuniga
Be careful ,, you might find yourself in the arms of a new lover...

Win a free Art Journaling class

Guess what?? Julie Prichard is giving away a free art journaling class! How exciting is that? It is called Super Nova and it has two parts.The first part you can learn to make 3 of your own journals and the second part is all about art journaling .Its a great price anyway but the chance to win makes it all the better. For some reason this class is calling my name , rather loudly I might say. SO i hope I win:) > she has a cool blog too . Here is the promo video , go check it out!! GO ! GO ! GO!

Just my opinion...

Last week ,as I was going through the motions of reading the blogs that I follow , I came to a blog that I am always inspired by .I read the post and when I got to the bottom of the post I read this sentence " Who would your true self be if you were willing to drop the baggage and take other people's opinions more seriously than your own"? A voice inside me rebelled against this. I heard it say " You want me to value the opinion of someone else over my own? You see , I found this a contradiction to the authentic me. How authentic am I if I am willing to take someone elses opinion over my own? I am a firm believer that the answer to who I am is within me already and that it is my job to excavate the real me.That sentence that day was something that I thought about"alot" .The context that the author wrote it in was that someone had said something positive about the author and caused her to see herself in a new way. What if the comment had been a negative one? Would it have changed the weight of the opinion ? It still would have came from the same source . So what weight should we give any opinion in deciding who we are? I see myself as a filter. Positive and negative opinions go in , they are weighed by my authentic self to see if I accept them or not and I choose what feels like it fits.If it fits then I keep it , if not , then it is discarded. I challenge that the reason the author kept that persons opinion that day was because it fit her authentic self and it was brought to her attention that maybe she should consider this as part of who she is. She accepted it to be true , therefore it was ,but it was HER who accepted it. Everyday we are told positive and negative things about ourselves, it is our job to sort and apply. I cannot trust that someone can see me better than I see myself. I have to trust myself to be authentic and truthful with myself.Take for example, if I tell a skinny person that she is fat and she knows she's not ,most likely she will filter it and not give any weight to it ,but if I tell an overweight person she is fat she will know in herself the truth and it will leave a mark . If the person is skinny and for whatever reason believes shes fat she would give my opinion the same weight as the overweight person. She is choosing this to be part of who she is.Therefore , isn't it still her own opinion? I am not saying that we should disregard everyone elses opinion. I am saying we should use them only as a means to discovering ourselves, questioning ourselves and as part of the self excavating process. I cannot ask the world "Who I Am"? that is a question only I can answer.

Be your authentic self. Your authentic self is who you are when you have no fear of judgment, or before the world starts pushing you around and telling you who you're supposed to be. Your fictional self is who you are when you have a social mask on to please everyone else. Give yourself permission to be your authentic self.
~ Dr. Phil

WishCasting....

Who Is the "You " you wish to be? this is the question that was asked in this wishcasting post.
The woman I wish to be is a woman who is at peace with who she is . She is a woman who feels comfortable in her own skin and is not afraid to be who she is despite other peoples opinions.She is a woman of strength and independence and peace.Confidently showing herself to the world without fear of being judged.
Who is the "YOU " you wish to be?

Whats your type?

One day a friend of mine suggested I twitter. I really had no interest as I already have a myspace and facebook and blogs.. yada yada. I didnt really get the whole concept of it. I was thinking why in the world would someone want to know that im sitting in my pj's drinking coffee . I really thought it must be stupid. Well I was wrong. So wrong! I have been following some great people and learning alot about myself. So one day someone tweeted at me " What is your MBPT ?" it said "I am INTJ". so I sat and I looked at that tweet and I was thinking " what the hell? MBPT -INTJ ? i ran all the possible codes in my head. Finally I thought she must be asking me my message board name and she is telling me hers ..LOL . So I tweeted back about just signing up and that I hadn't got my invite to the class yet, That must have sounded like code to her. I should have said WTH IDK (what the hell? I dont know) .So guess what? today I figured it out ! Its kinda like saying whats your sign in tweet.. Who knew!! You can read about it here.You can find out your type here .Now I know , I am INFJ :)

Whats your type?? leave me a comment , i'd love to know . Oh and sandy, I'm sorry I was a dumbass..LOL.but next time I will proudly answer ,I am INFJ.

The Color of truth

If I could paint truth using a color ,I would choose Yellow, a transparent bright yellow. A yellow so bright that sometimes you would need glasses to behold its brightness.Why? because truth is light and there is no darkness in truth.Transparent because the truth is something that you can always see through , no secrets hiding underneath it. Andre Gide writes " The color of truth is gray " .I have been thinking alot about the " truth " and what our responsibility to the truth is and how hard it is for some to look into its glaring light and how some walk through life shrouded in a cloud of lies unwilling to see the truth. Maybe Andre Gide thought the color of truth was grey because there is such a fine line in truth . A fine line we walk daily . I am by nature a very blunt person .I believe in the power of truth .I believe that facing the truth, however hard, allows us to grow as people. I search out the truth in myself because I know that in those truths is the real me. What is our responsibility to the truth though? Should we offer people our truths without them asking us for it? What if the truth is something they are unavoidably trying not to face? What if their untruths are uncomfortable for me? Should I sit with the uncomfortableness and allow them to remain in their own darkness because its not my business? I picture these untruths like a person sleeping in a dark room .Is it my job as a truthseeker to come in and jerk open the dark curtains and let in some light? Is it my job to tell an abuser that he is abusive when in his mind he is a good husband? Should I tell an addict that I see the addiction they are hiding? Should I tell the teenager who is pregnant with her second child that I see her mistakes? Should I turn my cheek to prejudice even though I flinch at the ignorance ? I have made mistakes, I have went through times of darkness , we all do , but when you are trying to live in the light , how do you handle the darkness? Some of the most life changing things for me in my life was when someone looked me straight in my eyes and said " I don't agree" or took my hand and said " turn around, you are headed in the wrong direction". Sometimes I needed a slap of reality and truth .So when darkness is near ,how do I protect my light? What if my light infringes on someones darkness and they aren't ready? What is my responsibility to the truth? What color is truth for you?

Shiny Glass Globes and Sweat....

Today I want to share another wonderful blog I love with you.It's called Blisschick. She has some wonderful posts. One in particular that made me think recently was one about negative people and how they hinder our growth.Here is an excerpt from her recent post..
Negative Nellies will pop your balloon or take in hand that fragile, shiny glass globe, pretending interest, and then "accidentally" drop it.
How many times have we shared an idea we thought was wonderful or a piece of ourselves that we were proud of or excited about (our shiny glass globe) only to have our excitement burst by feelings of inadequacy and self doubt? I know for me, many times a negative comment has left me doubting myself,had me reevaluating myself and my worth, wondering if my view of myself was somehow distorted,that maybe what I thought was shiny and beautiful really wasn't. In her post Blisschick reminds us "that we have to stop showing these people our shiny glass globes"
Positive people who support us are essential to our growth.There is a part of me , a big part, that doesnt value what I am doing or who I am without the approval of others.I have been struggling and working on this for a long time. I want to be the woman dressed in the outrageous outfit or the woman standing out in the crowd and not caring about what others are thinking.The woman who is completely comfortable in her own skin.You know the one? the one who has a peacefulness on her face and really is ok with who she is.That is the woman I aspire to be. I also want to remember to "give back" ,listen and accept the creative voices of others without judgement . I want to be the woman who knows how to handle a shiny glass globe with care.
She also has an interesting theory on how we can help get rid of all this self doubt , you can find it here . Blisschick says we need to "sweat it out" , literally, Move, work our bodies into a sweat to dissolve our inner "stuck chick" . Ok , she has my attention, that inner voice who has been telling me to "Move More" got a little louder when I read that. Thanks Blisschick!!

Ordinary Courage and Midlife...

Another blog that I discovered and had been meaning to share is "Ordinary Courage" .Just the name itself is Beautiful to me, but their is some real content there.Today I was struck by this little sentence "Midlife is when the universe gently places her hands on your shoulders,pulls you close, and whispers in your ear". Maybe I should do an art journal page about that and what she would be saying to me because about 6 months ago it felt liked she gave me a kick in the A**. I will be turning 40 soon and about 6 months ago I was acting like a lunatic.When I read this excerpt from Brene Brown -
"It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. The time has come to let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are."
I thought wow thats powerful and it is.You ever read something and you think something is here for me? I just need to sit with this and think about this and soak this up for a little while. Brene' is right. we spend the first part of our lives keeping ourselves protected with all kinds of vices and defenses only to find out that this only kept us from our true selves, it hindered our growth. We are taught that we should fit in ,only to discover that true beauty comes when we allow ourselves to stand out and embrace our individuality.I picture it like a flower in youth closed up tight ,protected, but the real beauty is on the inside , when the flower opens fully,only then , can you truly appreciate all it has to offer.

Beauty In strength...

Honestly a month ago I didn't even know the definition of mixed media art.Somehow when I was blurfing my way along one link led to another .Literally sometimes I was so taken by a piece of art that it would bring me close to tears .Today it did bring me to literal tears.Along the way I found the artist Pam Carriker.I remember the first time I visited her blog ,I was so drawn to the colors , the faces , all of it.I emailed Pam and I remember that she directed me to a place I could find more info because for the first time I saw something called an art journal.At that moment all the things I was attracted to made perfect sense.The quotes I would save, the vintage things I loved, old books. A place that would incorporate it all .I still haven't begun but the seed has been planted.I had intended to find my way . The idea of this blog was there. Then today literally I cried and decided it was time to start.Here is why...

It is a painting by Pam called " Beauty in strength". You can read her inspiration for this piece on her blog , but , as soon as I saw it ,I knew, before I even read the story.You see ,I have seen this face of strength before .I Have watched this determination .For me ,this was the face of my aunt, a face of someone I loved.Sadly, my aunt did not win her battle with breast cancer.This September the 13th she will have been gone 4 years .She was a woman with the most beautiful spirit and the expression of determination and strength is one that is easily recognizable in many who are battling this disease.Before she passed away I dreamt of her and in the dream she turned into this beautiful butterfly ,I cannot even describe how beautiful the butterfly was , so when I also saw the butterflies in this painting it made it even more meaningful to me. The writing on the painting says" I don't think of the misery but of the Beauty that still remains" and that is the truth , that's what I remember, her beauty, that strength , that will remain with me forever. I bought this piece today and I will cherish it forever.Thank you Pam !

Pam is also going to make prints of this to sell in her etsy shop and all proceeds will go to the Susan G Komen foundation

Right after my aunt passed away I wrote this for her and I thought it might be appropriate to share it here...



My biggest fear is that no one will know...

how you were so much bigger than your disease,

how you found humor in the unlikeliest of situations,

how you smiled through pain,

how you found courage in the face of fear,

how you held hope through hopelessness,

how your eyes twinkled brighter than your baldness,

how you became determined to beat the unbeatable,

how you fought with hope until your very last breath,

how you believed in the strength of all women,

how you inspired me to be better than I was,

You were beautiful.

You had a beauty so bright your disease was dimmed by it.

You had a spirit that will not be quieted by death ,

and my biggest fear is that no one will know....



~In memory of Debra Overbaugh Adams

Welcome..

I have been wanting to start this blog for a while.I already have a blog where I share cards I create, but I often blurf around the internet and I have been so inspired by different mixed media artists and others who so inspire me with quotes and other things.Inspire me to listen to my own voice ,inspire me to push myself to be a better person ,inspire me to learn new things.Sometimes the things I want to share just doesn't fit well on my card blog . Maybe something you see here will inspire you or lead you down a different path towards exploring your own creativity.Maybe you will find a new artist that touches you in some way and sparks a new interest.This will be a place for me to refine Me,down to a fine art!