Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Struggling with myself..

I am sorry I haven't posted in a little while but I have been struggling with myself. I like to stay positive so when I am not feeling that positive I sometimes just get quiet. Why am I struggling? I am not completely sure. As you know , I am always talking about and looking at art. I started as a scrapbooker and then a stamper making cards and quickly fell in love with mixed media art. I decided that I wanted to learn how to "make art" like what I saw . So I jumped in , head first, and signed up for lots of classes. Seriously , I had so many. I became overwhelmed because I had never even really tried to draw or knew that I loved it. So I decided that I needed to take some baby steps. I decided to concentrate on learning to draw before I added some of the other things. I have always had trouble doing one thing at a time . I have an " I want it all" attitude and I am extremely hard on myself . That's why you aren't seeing me post "art". I am trying to keep it to myself because I feel very vulnerable and I want it to be about "art for me" right now. I don't want to get caught up in posting and thinking to much about it when I am trying to learn.
I love learning from others and I love seeing all kinds of art and for those who are putting themselves out there I am so Happy you do . I admire you for it . I think I could deal more with others than myself when it comes to my "own inner critic" .
Recently I saw a blog where a lady set up her own learning schedule , just like she was in college , with whatever she wanted to learn about art.I need to do something like that , so I can have some structure. I want to learn so much . Art history, sketching , painting. I just want to soak it all up and its very hard for me . I am like a child learning . I struggle because I suck at being a beginner. However , I intend to follow this wherever it leads for me because I want to make art.
If you have any suggestions for me , I would love to hear.
My wish for myself is that I can make art without judging myself so harshly because who knows what potential is locked up inside me if only I would dare just stop judging.


  1. But why do you have to judge it. Why can't you just do it and whatever is; is.

    Don't stop your heart because a negative beat wants to get in.

    Chin up dear friend.

    Love Renee xoxo

  2. jackie, many of renee's friends are going to surprise her with a holiday "we-treasure-you chest. would you email me at and i'll send you the details.

    it's a secret!