Thursday, April 22, 2010
I know I haven't posted in a while .The truth is I have been struggling with myself and art. I took a Cloth and Clay doll class . I was excited to begin. I had never sewn before or worked with clay .I got out the little sewing machine and I taught myself from you tube how to get it going. It wasn't perfect but I thought ok , It's not to bad .I then moved onto clay over the fabric . I worked and worked and worked and I was very unhappy with the result. The face was not attractive at all. I walked out of that room covered in clay looking disheveled and beaten.My husband looked at me standing at the top of the stairs and said"what In the world"? At that moment I said to myself "You are not an Artist" . I told myself I just was not good enough. I whined and swore I was not going to create anymore. Then the clouds parted and the sun came out .... Ok , it didn't, but I was reminded by a very recent post and then another that I am not alone . Trying to embrace your mistakes and be a beginner is not easy. It hard not to compare yourself to others and to live with the awkwardness of learning. It's hard when your inner critic is breathing down your back to keep going . Art seems to bring up all my inner issues. Perfectionism and control do not mix well with art but what are my options ? I can quit or find my way through. Thank you Tracy for reminding me that I am not alone . I will find my way through this .I will just begin again.